As a small business CEO observed a window washer at the Atlanta airport one day, she asked what she thought to be a straightforward question, “What’s the secret to window washing?”

“No secret, ma’am,” the window cleaner said as he continued working. “I just focus on keeping on with my tools and my experience. I keep on going.”

The master continued working with repeated, slick motions, his tool remaining fixed to the glass and leaving not one smudge. Then, true to his word, he kept on going.

When the CEO asked what was in the blue water, the cleaning professional smiled and said “I can’t tell you that! If you knew that, you could do my job!” Then, before attacking another pane, he said “It is very special, though.”

When a professional window cleaner uses just the right combination of resources—minimal tools; years of experience; a flowing, non-stop motion; and a secret concoction of suds—his or her work is efficient, engaging and looks natural—perhaps easy—to those who observe.

Unlike the window washer, many team leaders don’t find their work to be efficient, easy or appear natural. These leaders often do not have degrees in leadership; they are promoted because they are very good at their jobs. Their former colleagues and friends now report to these “peer leaders.”

There is a skill to leading your former peers without encountering resistance, resentment and regret. When your toolbox contains a simple collection of thinking, communicating and acting that is coherent, ordered and intentional, your leadership appears as if it is natural. When you’re charged with leading a team of your peers or former peers, the right combination of resources makes all the difference. The following techniques should be at the core of every peer leader’s toolbox:

1. Minimal tools keep you focused.

The most effective leader uses only one tool: his or her personality. One great peer leader uses his thirst for understanding and information. When a member of his team enters his office, he asks that person to be the teacher while he plays the role of student.

“Any questions I ask are merely a student asking,” he explains. “Then, I never use the words ‘I’ or ‘you’… I only use the words ‘we’ and ‘us.’ I want them walking out of my office feeling better than when they walked in.”

By using the mindset of education, the pressure is removed from his “teacher” so that no question is off limits. This philosophy sets the tone for education and teamwork. If, instead, he were to use his intellectual curiosity to demonstrate that only he knew the correct answer, he could face resentment. The best peer leaders learn to harness their personality to inspire trust and teamwork.

2. Experience gives you credibility.

Just as window washers have well-exercised wrists, your team wants to see that you still need and relate to them.

While your team is working to create the next product, researching relevant case law or driving across town at a moment’s notice to meet with a customer, they want to know that you’re there with them. Sometimes that means that they want your hands working alongside theirs, and sometimes it just means that they want to know that you understand their daily routines, frustrations and joys. Regardless of which approach your team members prefer, they want you to guide them in the next, and right, direction.

Your team will remember that you were there with them when you encourage. Today’s culture makes it easy for bosses to find faults, but you will have much greater influence when you frequently ask this question of your team members: “You know what I liked about what you did (or said)?” Be relentless as you look to find the ways that their input, skills and contributions have benefited the entire team. This is always of interest to the receiver; no one has ever responded “No, I don’t want to know what you liked!”

3. A flowing, nonstop motion is very intentional.

There are few things more beautiful than a leader who knows how and when to listen and where and when to speak; the times to agree and those to dissent; when to stay with the group and those other times when to go out on a limb. Just as the window washer intentionally follows a specific pattern, the successful leader never allows these moments to be chance events. Instead, successful leaders are always intentional. While employees sometimes want to be inquisitive, your peers want to be connected with you. With intimacy comes great trust and loyalty.

A consistent engagement with your team on a personal level (within the business environment) turns your role from that of a boss to one of a fearless leader, mentor and teacher. This intimacy comes when you go beyond their favorite sports team to learn about their childhood passions, when you understand that their family’s immigration experience deeply affected their outlook on international business, and that their self-directed nature comes from their Eagle Scout training. To the inexperienced leader, these characteristics are mere factoids. The best peer leaders know that an understanding of those experiences and traits leads to unbreakable loyalty, an impassioned work ethic and—most importantly to the company’s owners—higher profits.

4. Your secret formula keeps you ever useful.

Famous chefs sometimes share their secret recipes, for they know what many of us have learned after carefully following the same recipe three times: There are just some techniques that can’t be explained with words. Food rarely tastes the same way twice and rarely as good as it does in your favorite restaurant!

The window washer humorously refused to share the ingredients in his bucket for fear of being replaced. The best peer leaders are afraid that their talents and “secret concoction” may go unused, so they focus on how their team is furthering the company’s mission. When leading a group of your peers, you must have a firm hold on the secret formula that lies within you. Ask your team members what they believe to be your “secret sauce,” and be ready to listen without judging their responses. You may find that your team wants you to talk more at meetings, even though you might think you talk too much. Your team may want you to consult them but ultimately make a firm decision, while you may lead by consensus for you fear making decisions alone.  When your team tells you what they want, find a way to do what they have asked!

Dolly Parton said “Figure out who you are and then do it on purpose.” All of what you do as a leader must be naturally intentional, obviously purposeful, yet elegantly skillful.

Kevin E. O’Connor, CSP, is a facilitator, medical educator and author. He focuses on teaching influence to scientific and technical professionals who are charged with leading teams of their former peers. He presents and coaches over 175 times per year around the world to corporations, individuals, associations and nonprofits about how to move teams from conflict to consensus. His latest book, Fearless Facilitation, is due out this year. For more information, please visit www.kevinoc.com.

1. Save less. Be honest: How many files do you have that you never refer to? The surest way to avoid clutter is to never allow it to collect. Make your first instinct to delete an email or recycle a paper instead of storing it.
2. Delegate more. Before you add an item to your to-do list, consider whether someone else should do it. Does a team member possess stronger skills or a better understanding of the issue? Could the task be a learning opportunity for a staffer?
3. Message efficiently. With so many tools available, don’t default to email for communication. Set up a project blog or wiki, use instant messaging for quick exchanges, and think about when it will be more effective to talk in person or by phone.
4. Do it once. Streamline recurring tasks to save time. Learn computer shortcuts for common operations. Set up AutoText entries to insert boilerplate text with a few keystrokes. As soon as you answer a common question, add it to a “Frequently Asked Questions” list that the entire staff can access.
5. Clear the decks. Instead of entering the new year burdened by tradition and your previous work habits, start fresh. Remove everything from your desk and replace only the items you use daily. Move old electronic documents to an archive folder and create a customized set of files to start the new year. When you retrieve a paper file, remove all the documents and replace only those you continue to need. Bit by bit, you will streamline your workplace.
6. Ensure understanding. When you talk with team members, avoid misunderstandings. Ask questions to check their grasp of what you want them to do. Example: Have them describe the first steps they will take.
7. Promote action. Relinquish your role as the go-to person. Give your team members authority to act on all but the highest-stakes activities.
8. Review and plan. Instead of letting your days just happen, put time on your calendar each week for planning. Review what you have accomplished, and then set your top priorities for the coming week.
9. Connect. Expand your abilities with a strong network of contacts. Don’t wait for formal networking events. Devote one lunch or coffee break each week to strengthening an existing relationship or meeting with someone new.
10. Relax. Make recharging a routine. To start small, take a 10-minute walk daily. Each time you do it, mark your calendar. After several days you will have a string of accomplishments you won’t want to break. Work up from there as your energy increases.

How do you plan to improve your productivity in 2013? Answer in the comments section.

Is it possible to be the boss without being bossy? Yes, it is, and you can do it.

Boss is a noun. It is a role you hold. Bossy is an adjective, it is a description of your behaviors and actions.

The boss is the person who gets things done, makes things happen and holds people accountable. The bossy person has all the answers, rarely listens to anyone else, makes demands and openly confronts people.

Being the boss without being bossy is about balance. You achieve balance by knowing the difference between …

• Being friendly and being a pushover.
• Exercising authority and exerting control.
• Staying informed and micro-managing.
• Delegating a task and dumping responsibilities.
• Holding people accountable and beating people up.

Many people, especially people new to leadership struggle to find balance. They tend to fall on one side or the other of the friendly-bossy spectrum and keep missing the sweet spot in the middle that makes them the highly respected, effective leader they can be. This audio conference will help you find that balance.

Register now and learn:

• How to build rather than demand trust and respect.
• Why influence is better than control.
• How you can develop influence with others.
• How to confront poor performance without being aggressive.
• Striking the balance between accountability and micro-managing.
• Understand the difference between delegating and dumping.
• Learn to understand the critical difference between coaching and discipline.
• How to have a successful conversation about workplace behaviors and performance.

Presented by: Guy Harris

Guy Harris draws on more than 20 years of combined professional and military experience when he consults, coaches or trains in the areas of workplace conflict resolution, team and interaction dynamics, communication strategies and tactics, and emotional intelligence. He helps you understand – and work through – the reasons why your relationships are getting in the way of getting things done.

Guy has both Bachelors and Masters Degrees in Chemical Engineering. He was a qualified Engineering Department head in the U.S. Navy. He is a Master Trainer and Coach in the DISC Model of Human Behavior and a Workplace Conflict Resolution expert. He writes The Recovering Engineer Blog, he co-authored the book From Bud to Boss: Secrets to the Successful Transition to Remarkable Leadership, and he leads a two-day workshop on developing Conflict Confidence.

1. What will we gain by meeting? You must be able to list at least one specific benefit to holding a meeting that other options can’t provide.
2. Can we achieve the same goal another way? For example, for meetings where you are simply sharing information, can you distribute a memo instead?
3. For regularly scheduled, recurring meetings, do we need to meet this often? Managers fall into the trap of scheduling regular meetings mostly to share status updates. Meet too often and there isn’t enough new information to share. Can you cut  down on the frequency and still keep everyone updated?
4. Could we divide one long meeting into a few shorter sessions? It’s hard for anyone  to stay tuned in for 60 meetings, and most adults’ attentions wane after 15-20 minutes. Consider scheduling several 10-15 minute huddles over the course of a week instead of a  long meeting covering everything at once.
5. Whose attendance is critical to achieving the goal of the meeting, and are they available? Don’t invite people because you don’t want to make someone feel left out. Invite only those people whose input is absolutely necessary to make decisions.
6. Will distributing notes to some staffers whose presence is not critical suffice? It’s understandable to want to keep other employees in the loop, but they don’t have to attend every meeting to do that. Distribute meeting minutes so employees can read them and catch up on the latest decisions when they have time.
7. Will the people with the authority to make the decision be in the room? Who are they? This isn’t always possible because you may need to hold some preliminary meetings before you involve decision makers. But when possible, include those people who can make a final call so that you can resolve the issue and move on.
8. Am I the best person to lead this meeting, or should I delegate it to someone  else? Sometimes your presence is not needed. Other times, for example, during brainstorming or problem-solving meetings, it’s best for you to step aside and require your employees to create a plan without your input.

Source: Meeting Makeover:  Say ‘Good-bye’ to Inefficient, Poorly Run Meetings, www.WorkplaceTrainingCenter.com.

If you botch hiring, it can cost your organization in lost productivity, time and money to recruit and train another worker, lowered employee morale, damaged customer relationships, lost sales and legal issues.

Workers aren’t thrilled with the hiring process either. Half of new hires said they weren’t confident they made the right choice, according to a recent study by Development Dimensions International Inc. That study revealed that 14% of new hires fail in the first 12 months.

Here are some of the things DDI says employers can do to improve their hiring:

• Know what you need. Identify the knowledge, skills and experiences that a successful employee will need. Use pre-employment assessments to screen candidates, and prepare yourself to conduct effective (and legal) interviews.
• Be honest about the job. Give candidates realistic expectations about the work, their career opportunities and the organization. “Painting a rosy picture or pulling a bait-and-switch once they’re on the job will just mean you’ll fill that position again in 6 to 12 months,” said Scott Erker, Ph.D., senior vice president for DDI’s Selection Solutions and the study’s co-author, in releasing the report.
• Don’t stop once the new employee starts. Make retention a priority.  Improve your hiring practices with Hire Exceptional Employees: A Process for Recruiting Top Talent. This multimedia toolkit gives you a simple and easy-to-follow plan for finding and hiring the best person for the job.

For our first assignment, we spent two days working on the home of a man who is on dialysis and who has lost much of his sight. Much of the job entailed making the house safer to accommodate his failing vision. We replaced splintered handrails, tightened banisters and stairs, replaced rotten floors and so forth. In addition, we spruced up the house with some heavy-duty power washing and by replacing exterior light fixtures and vinyl siding.

It was immensely rewarding to make his life easier.

That said, I walked away with more than gratification for having put some good out into the universe. The opportunity once again reinforced for me the power of effective management. Here are some lessons I re-learned on the job site:

• You need a team leader. There were only three of us working on the property, and with such a small group, an elected leader seemed unnecessary. Yet, without a person to establish an agenda for the day, assign tasks and move things forward, not one of us knew what direction to take, and we wasted time on the first day. When you assign group work, always select a leader, even if informally. You can pick the person, the team can appoint the person or you can have employees take turns leading. The leader is responsible for keeping everyone on track and ensuring that all the tasks are covered.
• Overestimate. First, we underestimated the time we would need, and the project extended over two days. Second, we were completing the work using donated wood and materials, so we had to be frugal and very precise with every measurement. We should have given ourselves a little wiggle room and asked for more than what thought we needed. We managed just fine, but we had a few close calls. One wrong cut could have stalled our work completely. Always plan for a bit more in time and other resources than you think you will need on a project. It’s much better to complete a project early and come in under budget than the alternative.
  
• Assign accountability. On Day 1, all of the materials we asked for didn’t show up, and we had to wait around for several pieces of wood to arrive. Had one of us been there when the wood was delivered, we could have checked that the shipment was correct and avoided the delay. Enforcing accountability is probably the most important management lesson I can share with you. As a manager, you must hold each of your employees accountable for the outcome of their work. Ensure that each person knows what you expect and that you hold him or her accountable for meeting those goals. If you don’t, how can you expect employees to do their best work?
• Build community. I tell you, I have had many rewarding moments in my life, but joining with others (one of whom was a complete stranger) to help someone (another stranger) ranks up there. It feels good to help people. Instead of paying for high-dollar team-building events, consider volunteering as a group for a local charity. (Ask people to volunteer; don’t force them.) You’ll build bonds among your employees and the sense of accomplishment you receive from helping others is a huge morale and motivation booster. I cannot wait to work on our next property!

Which charities does your organization support and how?

Only 20% of the readers who responded to a recent Communications Briefings poll say they discuss performance with team members daily, and an equal number do it weekly. A third of the respondents say they discuss performance monthly. But 13% still rely on annual reviews, and an equal number discuss performance only quarterly.  Here are some ways to increase the amount of feedback you’re offering employees:

• Walk around and talk daily. Make it a habit to set aside time each day to visit your team’s work area and chat with people about what they are working on. Ask about their challenges and successes so that you can coach and praise them.
• Discuss goals regularly. During team meetings, talk about team members’ goals, the progress they are making and how they can support one another. That will keep everyone focused on those goals. Another option: Schedule a 5- to 10-minute meeting once a week with each team member to discuss his or her work.
• Check in at milestones. Take time after key points in projects and other assignments to review the work, offer feedback and review their plans for the next step.
• Prep for success. When you make assignments, discuss how team members can best use their skills, and point out areas where they can make improvements.

When you coach and provide feedback daily, you show your interest in team members’ honing their skills. You will see improvement throughout the year, and you’ll catch any performance problems before they escalate into major issues.

Important: Keep a file of notes about your performance discussions with employees. That way, you will be ready for formal reviews or to back up any other actions you must take, such as terminating a poor performer who hasn’t responded to your efforts. Here are two great products that will guide you to offer better and more frequent performance feedback—that ultimately leads to the results you want:

Bud to Boss: A New Supervisor’s Guide to Turning Around Poor Performers. Equip new supervisors with tactics for coaching all their employees to succeed; for addressing performance problems; and for managing even the most difficult

The Complete Performance Review Toolkit, has the training and the ready-to-use forms that will make your reviews hassle free and turn them into comfortable meetings that will motivate your employees and improve their performance all year long.

• Make sure workloads are reasonable. The current mantra is “do more with less.” Be extra diligent in ensuring that employees’ workloads are realistic. How do you know if employees are feeling overwhelmed? Ask them.
• Limit work hours. Set the example and leave on time. Better yet, take your staff with you. If a few workers linger at their desks, have them pack up and walk out with them so they know you are serious. Too much overtime makes for less productive employees.
• Skip the multi-tasking. When people take on too many projects, everything slows down. Let them focus on a single project. Each time they tackle one project, they’ll gain the motivation to move on to the next one.
• Don’t change priorities. Once goals are set and people know where they are headed, don’t shift their priorities. That undercuts morale in a hurry. If your organization cannot stick to the same priorities for three weeks, you are unlikely to see any real progress.
• Give them space. Nothing kills morale like a micromanager. Provide direction and let people decide how to reach the destination. You will learn something from the creative ways they work.

What is your best motivation tactic for keeping employees productive during this time of year?

This is a guest article by Andrew Sobel.

It’s that very special time of the year when many Americans are receiving invitations to their annual office holiday party. If you’re one of them, you’ll probably look forward to the event with great excitement—until you start to recall the blunders of years past. Like the time you ran out of things to say to your CEO and awkwardly asked if his divorce was finalized. Or the time a drunk co-worker got a little too close for comfort when you were both standing under the mistletoe. Or even worse things.

Yes, while office holiday parties can be hit or miss, many people find their past experiences fall more often in the “miss” category. Of course, it doesn’t have to be that way. With the right approach, your office holiday party can provide a great opportunity to build relationships and strengthen your position at your company.

The first step to not being the lonely loser is not drinking too much. Second, don’t worry about being smart or clever—go prepared to ask thoughtful questions. Lots of them.

As I show in my book co-written with Jerold Panas, Power Questions: Build Relationships, Win New Business, and Influence Others,the most underutilized strategy for building relationships, getting to know others more deeply, and exercising influence is asking what I call power questions. Power questions, at the most basic level, enable you to get to know others more deeply and ensure that you’re talking about meaningful issues.

When you use power questions, you can really make your office holiday party—or any party you attend over the holiday season—count. If you want to connect more effectively with colleagues, deepen your existing relationships and stick to the straight-and-narrow to stay out of trouble at your upcoming office holiday party, read on for a few power questions to help you out:

Questions about work. Don’t spend your time gossiping about co-workers and what’s been happening at the office. Instead, ask thought-provoking questions about how your colleagues feel about and experience their work. A few options:

• What was your best day and worst day at work during this past year?
• What was the most fulfilling experience you had this year?
• What do you think is the best part of working here? The worst part?
• What’s the most challenging part of your job?
• How did you get your start? (This is an especially good question to ask your boss or a senior leader in your organization. It’s a simple but powerful way to draw someone out).

Questions about goals and challenges. If the foundation of relationships is trust, the engine that moves them forward is helping others reach their goals and confront their most challenging issues. You can do this, however, only if you understand what the other person’s needs are. So ask questions like:

• So what’s on your agenda in your work for next year? Any particular projects or initiatives you’re focused on?
• If you suddenly had a couple of extra hours per week outside of work, how would you spend them?

Questions about others’ passions. We have many activities going on in our lives, but usually we each harbor just a few true passions. If you can discover someone else’s passions, you’ll be able to connect much more effectively. Here’s how to do it:

• Tell me about your favorites. What’s your favorite movie of all time? Favorite restaurant? Favorite book you’ve read in the last couple of years? Favorite way to relax?
• Is there something you’ve always wanted to do, but have never been able to get around to it? A sport, a hobby, an event, a challenge, a trip, whatever?
• As you think about next year, what are you most excited about—at work or at home?
• What’s been the most gratifying experience you’ve had this year?

Questions to learn more about them as people. Ask people about themselves. The more you learn about them, the more you may find in common, and the more you’ll understand what makes them tick.

• So, when you’re not shaking things up at the office, how do you like to spend your time?
• When you were younger, how did your family spend the holidays? What are your plans this year?
• If you hadn’t gone into (business, law, banking, medicine, teaching, etc.), what do you think you might have done?
• Where did you grow up? What was that like?

What not to say

Of course, there are also questions you shouldn’t ask and things you shouldn’t say. And it can never hurt to go over what not to say before heading out for your party. Here’s a sampler of the most important categories:

• Appearance comments. Unless you know the other person very well, do not make remarks or give compliments to members of the opposite sex about their appearance or dress. It’s not appropriate and it could be either misleading or at some level offensive. Compliment them instead on their abilities and accomplishments. Period.
• Intimate details. Don’t ask someone who isn’t a pretty close friend about intimate personal details. A general question like “Do you have a family?” is OK, but not questions about girlfriends or boyfriends, divorce, dating, romance, sex and so on. You get the idea. Everyone has slightly different tolerances and comfort around going into subjects like this, and you need to err on the side of caution.
• Tipsy revelations. Don’t have a few drinks and then confront someone abruptly with your pent-up emotions. For example, don’t say “You know, I just feel like you don’t like me very much!” or “I want to be your friend.” At best it might be cute, but most likely it’ll be embarrassing for both of you.
• “Light of day” mistakes. Always apply the “light of day” test to your behavior. If someone reported your conversation and behavior the next day to your boss, your family or a client, would you be embarrassed in any way? How would they feel about pictures or videos of those moments if they were posted on Facebook?

For many people, the holiday office party can bring with it more anxiety and dread than good cheer. And there is really just no need for that. When you arrive with a few power questions ready to go, you can make the event not only enjoyable but you can turn it into a valuable relationship-building night that could benefit you for a long time to come.

Andrew Sobel is the most widely published author in the world on client loyalty and the capabilities required to build trusted business relationships. His first book, the bestselling Clients for Life, defined an entire genre of business literature about client loyalty. In addition to Power Questions, his other books include Making Rainand the award-winning All for One: 10 Strategies for Building Trusted Client Partnerships.

For 30 years, he has worked as both a consultant to senior management and as an executive educator and coach. His clients have included leading companies such as Citigroup, Xerox, Bank of America, Hess, Cognizant, Ernst & Young, Booz Allen Hamilton, Towers Watson and many others. His articles and work have been featured in a variety of publications such as the The New York Times, Business Week, and  Harvard Business Review. Sobel is a graduate of Middlebury College and earned his MBA at Dartmouth’s Tuck School. He can be reached at http://andrewsobel.com.

Find more holiday party advice on our Nitpickers’ Nook blog.

Just after Gen. David Petraeus resigned from his post as head of the CIA, there was an outpouring of sympathetic media. Before possible national security issues came to light, friends, allies and commentators wondered aloud why the four-star general’s private behavior should have any relevance to his performance as a valuable leader in the war against global terrorism.

New developments in the story might have quieted these critics a bit. However, it’s important for all business and government leaders to grasp how their personal behavior affects the organization’s culture. In short, reckless risk taking by a leader begets reckless risk taking by his or her subordinates and employees. Dishonesty begets more dishonesty.

Here are six reasons a leader’s private behavior really IS their people’s business.

1. It condones rule breaking. A leader has to be the role model for his or her people. “Do as I do, not as I say.” That’s the mantra leaders need to live by in order to get their people following the company’s rules. It’s particularly true in organizational cultures, such as the military or competitive innovation firms, that require stringent ethical behaviors, conformity and loyalty.
2. It confuses the rank and file. Some military insiders have pointed out that our all-volunteer military has created a “military apart” culture that operates off the public radar screen, with its own rules and cultural norms. (See NYT article.) But this is also true of businesses headed by powerful or charismatic founders, who see themselves as commanders of their own business universe. The problem is, when employees are fiercely loyal to a brilliant but unethical leader, they may lose touch with their own ethical objectivity.
3. Leading demands good judgment. The ability to make difficult decisions consistently and use good judgment is part of why leaders get paid the big bucks. If leaders are vulnerable to self-denial and self-deception about their ability to manage an affair undetected, it raises the obvious questions about whether they are also in denial about other matters that more directly impact the business.
4. Leaders are responsible for reputation. A sullied leader lowers the reputation of the whole  organization, calling into question its cultural norms and core values. Like it or not, stakeholders expect leaders to uphold the organization’s reputation and enhance, not degrade, its standing by having an impeccable character.
5. It creates conflicts of interest. Whether by having an extramarital affair or by engaging in inappropriate favoritism with a co-worker, the leader creates allegations of unfairness that impact people’s reliability and performance. Relationships that are unprofessional and inconsistent with the organization’s values cause a ripple effect of dissention.
6. Integrity matters. Whether they like it or not, when leaders betray their spouses and family, it’s human nature for their employees to wonder if their leader is trustworthy. People will begin to wonder, if a leader can treat loved ones like that, how will he or she treat us? Without trust, a leader has no authority.

David Gebler is the founder and president of the Skout Group, a consultancy that helps companies evaluate the cost-effectiveness and scandal-potential of their corporate cultures. He’s a lawyer specializing in business ethics, and author of The 3 Power Values: How Commitment, Integrity, and Transparency Clear the Roadblocks to Performance (2012, Jossey-Bass).